I want to wish you something, but I am too exhausted to tend my own needs, much less the needs of others. I feel as if I have given myself close to depletion in the absence of appreciation. I sit here with my pen, yet no words come to mind. Why then, if I feel so drained, do I feel such a need to reach out and wish for you tonight? I have read that both the receiver and the giver of acts of kindness benefit equally. Maybe my needs are self-serving. I try hard to get to a place in my life where I give without expectations or needing anything in return. True giving must come unconditionally. Tonight, I relapse. Therefore, I look to nature, one of our greatest teachers. I wonder if the ocean ever says, “I don’t want to make waves today or provide food and oxygen for the marine world.” Does she tire? And the sun, does he ever complain about shining? No matter where you are, what continent, country or town, if you are sitting on the beach or walking through a forest the sun is there. He does not care if you are young or old, rich or poor, black or white. You do not even have to be ethical and he will still shine on you. As you look directly to the sun, you feel a direct relationship, a beam of heat and light connecting you to him. He makes you feel as if for that moment, you are the only living thing on this earth he is caring for. His warmth surrounds you and you forget that hundreds of miles away, a cornfield is being nourished by his giving, and another hundred miles away, a child in the ghetto is being warmed. That is how I want to love. Tonight, when I seek love, I want the strength and goodness to love; so all those around me feel as if they are the only person on this earth I love at that moment. I am tired and have little poetry for you, but I have a wish for you. I wish you all my love and I wish you the strength to love all with all of your love. Some days, it is all we have to give, and everyday it is all we really need.
